i want to talk about look back
Hey, I just saw Look Back
I think adaptations are like, a weird thing to think about
In general
You'd think they'd be straightforward
Right?
An existing story just turned into a different medium
But that’s boring, and muddies the waters for me
I think adaptation is best when it’s in conversation with the original
When the person behind the adaptation is speaking to the original’s creator a bit
Even if it’s just a discussion of the material, a hearty agreement
On top of how weird adaptations are to think about
Creativity is weird to think about
Motivation is hard to think about
It’s easier to talk about them
To have someone to play off of
I wish I could talk about Look Back with you
I know it’s technically possible
I could just send a text or message or whatever
You’re not dead
It’s been eleven years
It’s been three years
It’s been a few weeks
Motivation came a little easier talking to you
I’m not a self-sufficient creative
It comes from people in my life
When I do create something I don’t often involve people in that process so maybe it looks like I’m pretty self driven but I’m not
Is this a symptom of not being happy with myself?
That I’m not as productive when no ones watching
Because I can’t create something just for me
And why would I deserve that
I remember when a childhood friend of mine had been killed by a drunk driver
Childhood friend might be making it sound like our friendship was bigger and stronger than it was
It was a very loose occasional friendship
Mostly of circumstance
We both were on the swim team
My sister was friends with her sister
But still
She ended up on the plate that was painted at my fifth birthday
Her name is right there
Next to the chunky looking Pikachu face
And my reaction to her death over a decade ago
Was to draw
Draw some kind of tribute to her
Draw as if she meant more to me than she ever actually really did
Draw her as if she was important
Because she wasn’t anymore
My family moved across the country
I hadn’t heard from her in over half a decade at that point
I don’t even think I said bye to her
Because there wasn’t a strong connection there so neither of us expected goodbyes
We were 10 then
But she died
And I felt like I had to do something
I want to talk about Look Back
I don’t want to write about it
I want to talk about it
But I want to talk about it with a few specific people
Like you
But the people I want to talk about it with are people I can’t talk about it with ironically
The time has passed for that
Maybe I will be able to someday
Things change
But right now
I can’t talk about Look Back